“When we intentionally put ourselves in a position of receptivity and attention, God will attend to us. We will find what our souls need.”
A Journey of Sea and Stone, Tracy Balzar
I am completing my spiritual direction certificate. As we were chatting, my daughter asked me, “Mom, what do you do in spiritual direction?” She added, “My friends want to do this, but they don’t know what spiritual direction is exactly.”
It’s a fair question, and the confusion is understandable. Although they are valuable ways to receive support, spiritual direction is not therapy or coaching. Spiritual director Tiffani Boerio describes the difference between these in her blog here.
Spiritual direction also differs from pastoral care. In pastoral care, a minister steps compassionately into a hard situation with you and offers to lift some of the burden and provide direct support. For example, pastors might provide tangible help like setting up meals to be delivered to your family, or regularly checking in on you during a hospital stay.
In contrast, spiritual direction is a place where you find a compassionate companion who listens with you as you explore the question, “Where is God showing up in my life?”
Spiritual directors help you listen for the ways the Holy Spirit was active in your past, is active in your present, and is pointing you toward invitations for your future.
There are many great explanations of spiritual direction online — you can find a few of my favorites here, and here, and here. (I’ll also link these again at the end of this post).
But I’ve learned to appreciate when people add their voices to a conversation. It helps me see more nuances and complexities, like discovering layers of color and texture on a painting. More voices help me see something in its fullness. So despite the wealth of good information already online about spiritual direction, I thought it might be helpful to share on my blog what I shared with my daughter.
What do you do in spiritual direction?
“The goal of spiritual direction is spiritual formation—the ever-increasing capacity to live a spiritual life from the heart.”
Spiritual Direction, Henri Nouwen
Listening is the primary action of spiritual direction.
Directors and directees learn how to listen for holy moments within the life of the directee together. Spiritual direction is not a place where a director gives you more to do (pray, journal, contemplate, etc.). It’s a place to pause and wonder together, to notice and name what already exists, and to ask questions in safety.
Spiritual direction isn’t a place where you will be judged or hurried past lingering doubts and fears. It’s a place of hospitality for what you bring with you about your life with God.
Spiritual direction is helpful if you want to grow your prayer life or your friendship with God but you don’t know how.
It’s a place to savor tender moments you share with God, and it’s a place to find someone who will sit with you when God seems to be absent.
In spiritual direction you might explore your image of God. You might learn how to listen to your deepest longings.
Longing can be invitational.
If you feel tired, stuck, discouraged, or you are simply unsure what you believe anymore, spiritual direction is a safe place to come and be with God right where you are — not where you wish you could be.
Stuck can become a holy, transformational space. Curiosity can be a movement of grace.
“How wonderful it is, beyond all power fully to understand, that our lives are never left to themselves alone. It does not matter where we are, nor what tasks consume our energies; there is always present something more than we ourselves are at any given moment. Always we are visited.”
The Inward Journey, Howard Thurman
If you have big decisions to make and need a place to sort out what is next for your life, spiritual direction can help you discover your path.
What if you think about discernment as prayer in motion – a way that God draws us into partnership?
Spiritual direction is listening for the life of the Trinity within the intimacy of your own life with a companion trained in the art of sacred listening.
For more on spiritual direction check out these resources:
https://quotidianjoy.com/blog/coachingcounselingspiritualdirection
https://www.julianneelaineclayton.com/podcast/121-consider-spiritual-direction
https://reneedavismeyer.com/blog/what-do-you-talk-about-with-a-spiritual-director