One of the gifts of the Prayer of Examen for me is that it helps me identify the beginnings and endings in my life. As I have prayed this prayer over time, I’ve learned to see, with clarity, the arc formed by a beginning and ending. Like the sunrise and sunset, beginnings and endings have their own beauty. The movement in between the two has its own story to tell.
Each day, I pay attention to the beginning of the day. Because it’s new it is full of possibilities, invitations, and beginnings for me to discern. It is the place where I find God at work in my life and in the world.
We go together into the day.
When I pray the Examen at the end of day, the arc of the day closes. The worries, the missed opportunities, the blessings of the day all come into my awareness. I respond from my heart to what God and I find there together. This day is done. I don’t have to let its anxieties leak over into tomorrow, even if I have some of the same pressures before me again. I am learning how to respect, and accept, the ending. God is there with me at the close of the day.
But that is only one kind of beginning and ending. A small one.
Over time, the Examen can help you trace the beginning and endings of friendships, mentoring relationships, seasons of parenting, or other seasons of life, like college or a particular job.
Paying attention to these arcs in our life can help us tell the truth about our experiences. Narrating the whole story, through the arc, helps make grace visible. We discover where we grew and where God met us. We have the chance to name what we are grateful for and name the places where we experienced hurt. Paying attention to endings helps me know when I need to grieve. I have to accept the ending in order to fully make meaning out of the whole experience. Grief offers me a way into compassion for myself and for others.
We can also accept movement into hope with the beginning. These arcs intersect like a double rainbow. Often at the same time we need to pay attention to grief, we also discover hope and the opportunity to turn towards something new.
The Prayer of Examen invites me to be gentle with myself in times of transition.
As I learn to hold grief and gratitude together, it helps me see what is stable through all the changes—God’s presence with me. He is in the beginnings, the middle, and the endings.
Our lives are beautiful and fragile. Living well means accepting love and loss. The Prayer of Examen helps me pay attention to the feelings I am tempted to ignore.
I learn to be grateful for the friends I had, the ones I have, and those I will meet in my future.
I learn to be grateful for the work I have done and the work I am doing, and I wonder about the work I will do in the future.
I savor my children’s early childhood years even as my heart hurts a little because they are over. I marvel at the ways they grew up and the many things they taught me along the way. I accept the invitation to embark into a whole new season of friendship with them as adults!
Where are your beginnings and endings? What story does the arc tell? Where did you discover God in your story?